Farewell

Theatre Performance

Alec Clegg Studio, Stage@Leeds

28th February 2023

Produce/ Research/ Script write/

Design/ Perform

A late night, a messy room in Leeds, Mika stands on the precipice of self-discovery. Tomorrow, she embarks on a journey without a fixed destination, guided only by the belief that she will uncover a new facet of herself.

Moving to diverse landscapes and establishing connections with others has always been intertwining of challenge, trauma, empowerment, and burgeoning confidence in Mika's life.

As she methodically packs her belongings, she engages in a silent dialogue with the future about the person she aspires to become. Join Mika and take a moment to ponder the layers of identity that define and shape you. Embrace the multiplicity of your 'selves', and let the stillness guide you on an exploration of your own soul.

As a final year independent research project (known as a dissertation), Mika researched how can a performer rediscover and redetermine the self through an autobiographical performance process. ‘Farewell’ is part of the research, and this solo piece specifically reflects her struggle with identity and trying to come across further.

Inspired by Goffman’s acknowledgment of the possibility of possessing different selfhood and everyday behaviour relying upon different situations and circumstances, Mika highlighted the question ‘How the realization of the relationship between outside and self could define and expand the multiple selves?’ in the whole process (reflection, scriptwriting, and rehearsal).

Reflection: rediscovering multiple selves

Mika reflected on her memory in chronological order and conducted interviews with people involved in those experiences to give her a clearer resolution of the stories and the human relationships. Rather than only confirming the memories, to make the memories and the selfhood more objective, she also utilized public resources to analyse the geographical locations where she lived and some related political issues. This enriched the understanding of the different multiple selves under different situations at an individual and community level. Also, she researched for similar experiences that can compare and contrast with her cultural background, which developed into new values that she can keep discovering further.

Scriptwriting: Redeveloping multiple selves

Understanding the interpersonal relationship between the audience and the performer at the beginning of this process, she decide to provide an edutainment work for the audience as well as contribute to herself as a reflective storytelling opportunity in her performance. Inspired by Tim Miller’s Glory Box (2001), she chose to layer 5 different selves to investigate the subject matter of ‘how to define selves’ from different time frames and from new definitions. It was effective to decode and change the constant interpretation of specific events by comparing the thoughts among past, present, and future. It appears to be the opportunity to update the ongoing thoughts during the writing process. In other words, the writing established new selfhoods by expanding both past and future.

Rehearsing: Reexperiencing multiple selves

Based on Stanislavsky’s (1963) system and Zarrilli’s (2009) somatic practice, Mika concentrated on the practice of emotional movement throughout the blocking and recorded the erratic body-mind in the rehearsals. It was efficient to create a sight from outside of the experience by letting the emotion unconsciously provoke and choosing the appropriate tone for the performance. To improve the audience experience, Mika emphasised elaborating the script with theatrical elements and recreating the ideas of selfhood. For instance, using metaphor to abstract the incident, use materials to interact with, and explain emotion in physical movement sequences rather than in words. These improvisation-based activities assisted in redefining the essence of the contents as well as discovering implicated selves from the existing selves and combining both new and original.

In this project, Mika clarified that recognizing the distinction between self and other is the first step for self-discovery as well as developed the methods in autobiographical performance. Rather than only deepening the comprehension of selfhood, delivering the performance to the public redevelops and redefines Mika’s notions of self with past, present, and future. Especially, the conversation held during the performance supported her to progress further in her answer to the perpetual question. The solo performance ‘Farewell’ transferred the dilemma and struggles that her identity brought to her into her sense of self-acceptance, self-understanding, and self-development. Simultaneously, referred to the questionnaire, seems successful in the audience an inspiration to consider their identity and a chance to understand the voice worth hearing.

Click for the dissertation essay